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One Thing Wednesday – The Beer Mile

Back on New Years Eve, after a few drinks, I started talking with a couple of guys about running.  It didn’t take long before we decided that we needed to run a beer mile.  For those not in the know, a beer mile is generally run around a track.  The time starts when you crack open the first can of beer, and you have to drink it at the starting line.  When it’s empty, you run 1/4 mile back to the start.  Repeat.  You get the picture.  Four beers, four 1/4 miles.  The current world record is 5:04.  Yes, that five minutes includes the time it takes to down four beers while standing still.

Anyway, fast forward to Monday night, and I notice that a local running group is hosting a beer mile tomorrow.  The thought of running a beer mile in 100F/38C heat made me instantly nauseaus, but I felt some sort of obligation to let the other guys know about it, since we still hadn’t run one.  For the record, I don’t drink beer.  I drink for effect more than taste, and I don’t like to waste my time on anything other than straight alcohol.  So if I’m drinking (which isn’t very often), I’ve usually got a scotch on the rocks in my hand.  The last time I drank more than half of a beer was during the Canada/US Olympic hockey game back in 2010.  I think I drank three Molson Canadians in the first period (seemed like the patriotic thing to do).  I felt sick for the rest of the game.  Beer and me just don’t get along that well.

Needless to say, I wasn’t incredibly disappointed when my friends chickened out on the beer mile.  I was ready to do it, but I’m 100% certain my mile would have ended early, and with vomit running down my shirt.  Although, for the record, official beer mile rules allow you to vomit and still continue – you just need to do a penalty lap at the end.

The trophies to be won at tomorrow's beer mile (by somebody other than me)

The trophies to be won at tomorrow’s beer mile (by somebody other than me)

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1 Comment

  1. piratebobcat says:

    It was a fun bucket list kind of event. We lucked out on the heat as the clouds rolled in before we started and kept it relatively cool for a Texas summer. I think they said the penalty for puking would be to drink an extra beer. Those that did chose to drop out instead.

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